Is there a ‘best’ way to separate or divorce?

There is a whole spectrum of emotions that will be stirred in the separation and divorce process – from the caring, respectful and dignified ‘goodbye’ to the most difficult and painful, even vengeful situation.  What we mediators deal with is often far from easy.  We wonder to ourselves how this couple who created their children in great love can be reduced to such degrading name-calling and fighting over who has them for that extra two hours at Christmas. I met a wife in mediation a couple of weeks ago who was clutching the list of chattels that she ‘must have’

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The mediator’s world; welcome to the war zone.

It’s a regular Monday morning; it’s 9 am; my new mediation clients, Jenny and Steve, are in the waiting room; I observe they are sitting as far as possible from each other. I notice their body language; both busy on their phones and completely ignoring each other. Not a great start. It has taken quite a fight (and several weeks) to get them here; the fight included who would pay for the session and the babysitter….. I am thinking to myself, at least they changed their minds about shuttle mediation and have agreed to sit in the same room to

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